sordid_lungfish (sordid_lungfish) wrote in dream_visions,
sordid_lungfish
sordid_lungfish
dream_visions

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Hello

Hello. New to the community. I never know what to say.

I do have something to share. This was a bit of free writing I did after having a dream. So I didn't do much proofreading. And it sounds faintly familiar. But it might be from staring at it too much afterward.


I've been thinking a lot about you. Really, I have. That's why I'm here now. Just wanting to clear my head a bit. I know you'll listen. You've become quite good at that now. At least...that's what I'd like to think.

You're so lucky. There's nothing you have to fear of the dark that you yourself did not put there. You get to know what kills you.

You see now?

Then again, I always thought you were a bit stupid. I know you think the same of me. And that's why we go together so well. And when I finally decided to finish that thing I started?

It's the noise. A long, low hum without end that you think makes me crazy. If anything makes me crazy it's all on you dear. Maybe you and this house. I don't like how the doors move here. The windows are to high and when I look in your eyes you seem to dissapear. And your motions have become stiff. Eyes? Dead, staring. The more I watch you the more I know what you left for me in the spare bedroom. I know why I need to be with you... Why I can't love you anymore.

When I dream at night the noise is there too. I hear it along with your voice. Like it was. You know, before.

Remember the last time you hit me? Remember the last time you called me a failure of a husband? Do you REMEMBER the last time you threatened me with our daughter? Oh she loves you. Loves you more than the small, shaking lunatic she calls a father. Yet despite this you threaten me. And it is in these moments that I remember that you can rot for all I care.

I do hate you sometimes. And I revel in this evil thing that drains you, turns you into a useless parody of yourself. You no longer threaten me. And it was when you stopped talking that I was finally able to say something.

Remember what it was?

I do.

I told you it was going to be ok.

Something to think about, I guess. I'm beginning to think I prefer you this way. I love how you shuffle uselessly about the house. The noise doesn't seem so bad. The red that clogs the sinks becomes a minor annoyance. That screaming? I cease to care.

Maybe it is going to be ok. You wanted this house in the first place. Decided a nice place in the woods would be a good spot to keep me cut off. My...friend, distracted me too much from my work. Your reasoning, if my memory does not escape me. And it must have been too much for me to ask to even have that ONE connection.

But the thing is dear that when you sever someone off like that, when we stop hearing the voices of other people we do not fall into the silence. You've just cleared away the static. It was here it started. It wasn't the old devices. Not some...distant factory. It was that sound.

We always reach for other people. And when there was finally no one for me...

Whatever it is, it doesn't love me. But it won't abandon me. It won't do what you did. Won't be like you. Won't be like our daughter.

Truth be told I haven't seen our daughter in days. That I can live with. You taught her to not think me human. I was mearly device for school lunches and car rids to her friends house. A means to an end, I guess. She's a smart girl. She'll have no trouble getting through the woods.

It all ended up quite funny, you know?

I'm starting to think this goddamn house is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not afraid anymore. I finally have power over something.

And that's you, sweetheart.

Just you.

...
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